hey hey hey, lets say goodbye to old friends and say hello to new friends. haa haa haa haa. was talking to couple of friends earlier on and boy they sure give me a good reason to forget everyone that i've known for years. you clever naughty-nots, haa haa.

let's see. addicted to this old comedy series 'MIND YOUR LANGUAGE' like i said in my friendster. and it's kinda funny actually. learning english with foreign students and thie funny hoo hoo haa haa's type of thang.

thinking of using new number though. so that only my dears can contact me. haa haa haa haa.

message to my friends..

wendilyn: you crazy girl, sometimes your crazyness are lame but i still love your crazy ways.

min kai: to you, i don't know much. maybe thank god you're a nice person but you could be irritating sometimes.

fiona: i will still love you and yell jiayu, i will still find a day to pull her pants down.

boon hock: you chicken mcnugget, haa haa haa haa. kidding. don't dwell so much on that dream.

izzat: sayang, have you done the project? haa haa haa haa

fazli: next time, be nice to me. kidding.

lemuel: we got rejected but hey, let's a least study for the best aite. only for a year.

jeremy: goodluck for the upcoming exams bro. you need anything, gimme a call.

and lastly..

to all of my current ite friends: I LOVE YOU ALL
 

hey y'all, sorry for not updating regularly, and as usual, im too tired and im too pissed to posts new stories. haa haa. and as usual, fought in school, tried changing course but rejected. haa haa. suffer for a year. gosh. anyhoos, thank god i still have my dearies, I LOVE YOU ALL. the guys, the girls.. haa haa.


 

Hey world, say hello to this newborn baby. Named Maya Nabila. Haa haa. she's my aunt's baby. and gosh, she's gorgeous.




Ooh, not to forget my always cute baby. Her sister, Marsya Nashmia.





we will love her still even though she's got a newborn sister. haa haa.
 

i used to hate school when i first come in to my new school. abt 2 months i entered, i thought it was okay but still very boring but i have a cool teacher who teaches us in detail. I'll never forget him. we will never forget his kindness. don't know why the school decided to change teacher for this term. what? are they racist or something?

ever since school started this week, I've been so pissed with my teachers. but you know, I'm the one who like to show freaking bad attitude to those who i dislike and blimey, i showed my worst attitude to a teacher in class earlier. I'm so pissed. its like what was taught to us doesn't make any sense.

theory lesson was boring. i think the teacher was talking to herself or something cause the people at the back can't understand a word she said. and to think that she asked us to do an experiment on the chapter that we did not know. my priority in class today was to finish my project so that i can get a damn good mark but what i get was "today you are not supposed to do this in class." so pissed.

i was like ok fine. i told my sexy that I'm going to my locker to get 'book'. they came along. i slammed my way out. and when i came back, everyone was taking the equipment. i too did take and guess what i did, i just assemble it and leave it there. no one knows what to do. and i hang out with my guy friends. my 'sayangs'. they are the coolest ever. we talked, and laughed and they told me that I've changed to someone they don't know. wow, what have i changed into?

this is the second strike of the week shes pissing me off. if one last time she pisses me off again, that's it. I'M OUT.
 



Pull up your pants
(Just Like Em')
Take out the trash
(Just Like Em')
getting ya cash like em'
Fast like em'
Girl you outta act like ya dig
(What I'm talkin' bout')
Security codes on everything
Vibrate so your phone don't ever ring
(Joint Account)
And another one he don't know about

[Hook]
Wish we could switch up the roles
And I could be that...
Tell you I love you
But when you call I never get back
Would you ask them questions like me?...
Like where you be at?
Cause I'm out 4 in the morning
On the corna rolling
Doing my own thing
Ohh

[Chorus]
What if I?...
Had a thing on the side?
Made ya cry?
Would the rules change up?...
Or would they still apply?...
If I played you like a toy?...
Sometimes I wish I did act like a boy

[Guy Chopped & Screwed Voice]
Can't be getting mad!
What You Mad?
Can't Handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!

[Verse: 2]
Girl go head and be...
(Just Like Em')
Go run the streets
(Just Like Em')
come home late say sleep like em'
Creep like em'
Front with ya friends
Act hard when you're with em' like em'
(What)
Keep a straight face when ya tell a lie
Always keep an airtight alibi
(Keep Him In The Dark)
What he don't know won't break his heart

[Hook]
Wish we could switch up the roles
And I could be that...
Tell you I love you
But when you call I never get back
Would you ask them questions like me?...
Like where you be at?
Cause I'm out 4 in the morning
On the corna rolling
Doing my own thing
Yea

[Chorus]
What if I?...
Had a thing on the side?
Made ya cry?
Would the rules change up?...
Or would they still apply?...
If I played you like a toy?...
Sometimes I wish I did act like a boy

[Guy Chopped & Screwed Voice]
Can't be getting mad!
What You Mad?
Can't Handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!

[Bridge]
If I was always gone
With the sun getting home
(Would Ya Like That?)
Told you I was with my crew
When I knew it wasn't true
(Would Ya Like That?)
If I act like you
Walk A mile off in yo shoes
(Would Ya Like That?)
I'm messing with your head again
Dose of your own medicine

[Chorus]
What if I?...
Had a thing on the side?
Made ya cry?
Would the rules change up?...
Or would they still apply?...
If I played you like a toy?...
Sometimes I wish I did act like a boy

[Guy Chopped & Screwed Voice]
Can't be getting mad!
What You Mad?
Can't Handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!
Can't be getting mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!

[Music Plays]

[Outro]
If I played you...
Would yo like that?
Had friends...
Would you like that?
never call?
Would you like that?
Hell naw
You wouldn't like that
No!

[Half-Chorus]
What if I made ya cry!
Would they still apply!
What if I...
If I played you like a toy
Sometimes I wish I did act like a boy!

[Music 'til song fades out]
 

hey y'all. blogging in school. yeah, school is sooo boring i can sleep the whole day. was asked to do project today but i did my part in the project and i have my partner to do the rest. but the only problem is that he's not here. oh gosh. super angry. where have he gone to now?

anyways, got a msg from this weird person about netball practice. well, i did sign up for netball but i never turn up for the lessons cause i thought that tennis might be more interesting. maybe, i'll just pretend that i don't know. haa haa haa haa.

hmm, heard about mdm ratnah. congrats cikgu. you deserve well. hope you'll have an easy delivery. haa haa haa haa.

got scolded on my first day of school cause my previous project blow up. as in short-circuited. but what the hell. i'm not respecting a teacher who treats people differently. she has lost my respect in that.

nazri came back with a new style of hair. or maybe he just comb it nicely? haa haa haa haa. well, its kinda awkward meeting these kind of people again, i mean my friends. but yeah, now i know how much i misses the guys and my dearies. they are the ones that is going to stick with me till next year.

not trying to replace or anything, just that they are the ones who will help me get out of here. or maybe i would get out of here earlier. haix. no idea.

new friends comes handy when old friends gets seperated. that's just how life goes. its how the way you want to think about it. and i'll keep and live with it.
 

i love learning spanish language. heard this cool song from j.lo. and man, i love it. though i never understand most of it. i tried looking up in the internet for some translations. hope i got it correctly.

que hiciste - meaning 'what did you do?'

][spanish][
Ayer los dos soñábamos con un mundo perfecto
Ayer a nuestros labios les sobraban las palabras
Porque en los ojos nos espiábamos el alma
Y la verdad no vacilaba en tu mirada

][ english ][
Yesterday the two we dreamt of a perfect world
Yesterday to our lips the words they exceeded them
Because inthe eyes we spied the soul
And the truth did not hesitate in your look

][spanish][
Ayer nos prometimos conquistar el mundo entero
Ayer tú me juraste que este amor seria eterno
Por que una vez equivocarse es suficiente
Para aprender lo que es amar sinceramente

][english][
Yesterday we promised us to conquer the entire world
Yesterday you swore me that this eternal serious love
Because once to be mistaken is sufficient
To learn what is to love sincerely

][spanish][
Qué Hiciste? Hoy destruiste con tu orgullo la esperanza
Hoy empañaste con tu furia mi mirada
Borraste toda nuestra historia con tu rabia
Y confundiste tanto amor que te entregaba
Como permiso para así romperme el alma

the rest i do not know. haa haa. but it is a cool song though. que hiciste-j.lo
 

these few days, i feel that i can't breathe. its like somthing got caught up in my breathing pipe or something. its been 2 days and theres nothing stopping it. wanted to go to the doc's but was held back cause i thought i could take it.

well, if i couldn't hang on tonight, calling the ambulance. my heart feels heavy and having heart pain. gosh
 

created a new msn about a few months ago and been telling around. so my friends, please add up my new msn. created it just to get away from something/someone.

londondomain@hotmail.com

sorry for the short notice.
 

a big big sorry to my two dearies.

firstly, for cancelling our pulau ubin trip. ( cause it's raining )
secondly, for cancelling our lunch hangout together tomorrow.

a big big sorry to you guys.

but we're still on for dinner right?

sorry for giving excuses but i really can't. love you all. can't wait to see you guys!
 

the sight of the birds, awakens a desire.
although we tread the world, we will reach for the sky.

you will see, there will come a day, a day like that will come,
where everyone in the world will want to shake hands with me.

well, i'm just a normal person, not so famous to have hand shakings with the world.

plain bored so just typing some random stuff. haa haa
 

i cant believe that even when i fully put my trust on someone, i got stabbed again. trusting with all the bullshits that i heard.

its hard to believe, its hard to trust, and my friend, its hard to lie.

i am never, ever trusting anyone again, i gave myself one chance, but history repeats itself.

i'm not gonna get hurt again and again.
 


 

believe what you see and not what you heard, stories can't be truthful.

it just hurts me alot hearing all these stories.
 

did nothing basically today. was transported to yishun and head off to woodlands and then to bukit batok. was supposedly to meet shima there and had lunch with her. mom never cook these days in the afternoon so i head out instead.

tiring as it can be, i tried to stay awake throughout. haa haa haa haa. and to think i started to listen to all these emo Malay songs that i used to hate. maybe cause my cousin let me listen to it too much till I'm like addicted to it.

took a couple of pictures on the train. was supposedly going to take neoprint but i had to rush to the doctor's. sorry shima, but we will take OK. i promise. NEOPRINT!!. maybe the cards or something. haa haa.

i thought i was going to be late to meet my mom and she hate people whose late and more, I'm hanging out with my friend, she will find ways to shoot me with all sarcastism and all. took a cab, gave shima a lift and head to bishan. lucky i reached there 5 minutes early, or i would have got scolded. phew.

gosh, i have no idea my sister weigh that much. haa haa. lets just see who loses more weight!

and to jiayu, your pants will drop one day, and i promise you that. and i will have my sidekick with me, right shima?. the fierce type of her that no one had ever seen.
 

I told you how I felt,
I told you what it meant,
But I still havent changed your mind,
I know that youre afraid,
Youre frightened of the pain,
But you can let down your guard...

Cause when we run, when we hide,
We deny whats inside...

What good is a heart if youre not gonna use it,
What good is a love if youre too scared to choose it,
If youre heart is beating, then its for a reason,
If youre not willing to start, what good is a heart?





 

taking a deep breath, as i walk along the streets, thinking of the life i used to had, used to love, and use to cherish.

a day ago, i've wrote about me being so tied down by an unknown gravity. so, where is all of these came from?? no one knows.

all my problems, my thoughts, my heart, my everything, that happened started in my secondary school days. and i would have stayed longer like my mom asked me to but was taken aback. i missed my teachers who taught me so much but i gave up instead of coming back to get a second chance. now, im bragging about my life, about how tired i get and about the drama that has passed by.

i know ive typed nothing or wrote nothing but me telling you guys about the feelings i have. i just can't leet it go, and i'm sorry if my blog aint that fun like others for the time being. no pictures were added up lately and no happy blogs. so, it means seriously im taking a chance to free my mind once and again. and hope that this is over so i can go to my old self again, telling stories and posting pictures that i took, the fun memories, of a cause. and now, im walking away with a life to spend..

i will be back, one day, one fine day..
 

my life flashes before my eyes. i knew that i couldn't bear any longer, but to cover up with a pillow and shout at the top of my lungs. should i or should i not seek for forgiveness. i knew that there's no stop to this fairytale that people keep saying. even so, i don't believe in HAPPILY EVER AFTER. nothing in this world can help but pull me so back, back into a cage where i feel so caught up.

why couldn't i just get it right the first time again. and again i wonder. a beautiful scenery turned black and ever little sweetest taste of sweets turned sour. nothing seems okay inside but when showed around, I'm just as enjoyable and fun-loving girl that everyone knew. but, do they know the real me, the thing i felt inside. the thing that i want the most. the thing i wanted to get out from. all I've shown is the happy me, never the sad cause, i don't want people to say things that can hurt me even more. like criticism and all what-nots.

i created my own fairytale which can turn out to be interesting yet boring. cause, everything, every word i typed down, and every misery i felt always lead to one thing. leads to someone. how pathetic i might be, I'm just looking for answers. i hope that all this links that i had in life, will lead me to the way that i wanted. i was told i had a beautiful life ahead, but i just cant seem to control it and fit in.

being 17 may n0t always mean you can handle everything, its asking you to take one step on another. and i ain't taking no risks in doing any.
 

a dream woke me up again in my sleep,

the one that i thought i had let go, but not.

the feelings i feel is so deep,
and it felt so real as if im hurt.

my heart pounds and each time it beats, i felt uneasy,
the same feeling when i had lost someone close to me.
to be straightforward, i had feelings of cared and at the same time,
hates.

i know that i cant do much but to wait till time heals,
but its been so long and it never heals.
even more, it haunts back.
i feel so blacked out. i felt so sad.
that everything turned out bad.

i wish i could knew what went wrong.
hate=care?? or hate=?? who knew??

my heart feeling so scared everyday, just as i thought it could get better.
help me overcome this. help me from myself.

i just wish there's a bright light or angel to save me from this path.