hey hey hey.. im now at jurong with my family. hanging out with my aunty. the coolest one. haa haa. mom was supposed to go home early today but my other sister wanted her to stay. the one who stayed with my other auntie at yishun. we seldom see each other but we do call or sms each other at times.

fiona and wendi went to work today. hope they are having a good day there. they got the best job in the f&b industry. i know that they'll get too tired for working hard too. they starts work st 3 today and supposedly ends at 7. i worked there before but i'm a very religious person and i can't work where porks and beers are handled. i just can't.

ok, i got another job waiting for me. and you guys never believe what kinda job i get. why not give it a guess?? its in a boutique. quite high class. and also quite world-wide. can anybody guess? well, just tag on my board. haa haa. not trying to get egoistic. im not. im just happy to have job to help my family. ive been crying alot lately and i knew something is not right. i hope i find the answers and know why.

-if life is short-
 


 

updating in school. okay, this week and next week are the revisions week. so, should i study? i have no idea. as i still had no gees of what subject that is needed to be learnt. i know that in time to come, when taking the exam, the result will tell me all.

i've been feeling so down lately. i just don't know what. i've been woken up again and again feeling something unease in my heart and also my thoughts. oh no, its not because i watch too many horror movies, okay i admit, during the weekends almost from morning till evenings we watch all the horror movies that we had. all malay shows, from the tele-series MOMOK, to Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam 1 and 2. and after, watch Jangan Pandang Belakang - that we thought that its gonna be scary but seriously it doesnt. the only thing that can make your heart pump faster and like popping out (hee hee) is the sound effects. if not everything seems a-okay.

wait wait, now back to me. gosh. i don't know. i need help but i dont know what to say.

i see myself in the mirror, thought that everything was okay?
but that was just a thought. have i not wanted enough?
or am i just being pathetic? or paranoid?
 

kecil kecil kusangka api, jikalau api, di mana panasnya?

hilang ghaib kusangka mati, jikalau mati, di mana kuburnya?
 

to be frank, i wasn't in any mood today. really. i kept myself quiet all the time in class and i didn't even talk to my dearies. im so sorry guys. im just so moody? maybe.

i miss my cousins. i always do. and yestarday was the perfect hang oout for us. not hang out, just slack. we were re-enacting some few horror malay movies on each other and scare each other. my other cousin, who i always bring along with me when hanging out with shima, kept singing loudly and blasting his music loud. and after, telling people to vote for him M2. he's a weirdo. haa haa. hes funny dude though.

got her invitation card and i wanted to bring a friend along on her wedding. i hope i can ask for forgiveness or something. hope shes happy always,

meanwhile: listen to the song on my blog, sang by my cousin. not perfect for you guys, but he has talents.
 

hey guys, lots of you have been asking me who's the guy I'm seeing or been going out with. to me, i don't know yet. cause i can't be too certain whether its love or not. i am single but currently not available. i didn't tell you guys cause i I'm not that sure myself. I'm so sorry guys.

skipped school today. reason -so pathetically tired- but hopefully thanks to wend, my attendance was marked. thanks babe. missed tennis lesson and went to shima's house. watch a lil gees of this Malay movie which frankly, I'm quite scared and don't understand cause i turned the volume down and heard like almost nuts. haa haa.

trial day tomorrow. I'm so nervous. I've worked but never in a restaurant. ooh, i wonder how it will go tomorrow. pray for me guys.

few msges for my friends.

farah - i never forget you. I've known you for like almost 8 years now. i love you like i always do. i do sms you right? you are not forgotten.

shima - darls, I'm not keeping things from you. truth is, when i keep things or hide things from you, i have this sense of guilt and scared. firstly, scared that you won't trust me. and also scared that I'll lose a great 'sister' like you. guilty cause you told me every single detail of your secrets and i didn't. guess I'm the bad one after all. i do miss you darls. Haas

wendilyn and Fiona - my two bitches. haa haa haa. kidding. if one of us didn't get the job, we still work for the best right? thanks for applying the job with me. you guys are great. loves.

yung zhi (my employee) - hey, thanks for trusting me. and don't worry. i will protect her and keep the trust in me. provided you protect me fro you know who.

diane - you sexy Amiga. haa haa. i know you missed me. i know you do. haa haa. sorry for not answering your calls lately, I'm just too busy. i cant think straight right now. ever thing seems to be blur for me.


-better to have loved and lost than not to have love at all : a quote from TV -
 

these are the pictures taken on pie's birthday party. held at pasir ris. didn't really stay long though. about him -a great guy, i never regret knowing and also trusting, i will not let him lose that trust. haa haa. a great friend, a great tennis player.-


 

hey hey hey. have not been updating for so long. guess what, i have been invited to her wedding. OMG!. is that a good thing or a bad thing? i mean, we had a fight like for so long, nearly 3 months and last afternoon, she smsed me inviting to her wedding. thanks Ms ida.

sometimes i do miss her alot. driving her car during soccer play at kallang. hanging out in town and also correct each others mistake when we know, that the teacher seems to always be right. so unfair. haa haa. other than her, sharing my secrets with was with shima. and no others. haa haa. cause i feel that i could trust them more. but i think things have definitely change.

now, who i share my secrets too, hee hee. to myslef of cause. as many people seems to have drift away from me.

wendilyn once told me: rather lose a boyfriend than a friend.

diana say: rather lose a friend than lose a bunch or them.

and now i say: rather be loved than to have lost friends.
 

t0tally made a complete fool out of myself. okay, i admit, its been like 8 years since i stopped playing tennis and trust me, all the technic i've known are gone. maybe i will keep up the pace. and hey, with the racquet that i had, maybe it will speed things up. just need to attend more matches and practices then i think i'll shape back to normal.

first lesson, thought i was going to get a male teacher but end up all females. and ooh, they look like polytechnics kids to me. i still respect them though cause, they're friendly(i guess). we'll see in time to come.

didn't manage to present my project today cause my partner went out and i think he went home or something so we had to postpone it to monday. gosh i hope that i can present it well, pitied those people who attend school almost everyday but get lower marks then those who like to skip school. the teacher must have gone worng int the brain or something. if not i don't think it will be like that.

pie's birthday today. happy birthday to you dudes. i hope to attend your party tomorrow, i guess. haa haa haa haa.

will be getting a new psp soon somewhere next month, ive longed for it and with the government giving 400 bucks to our edusave really pissed me off. i thought i could get the money in cash or get half of it in cash but never mind. i hope and trying to be patient and get the psp soon.

I WANT PSP BADLY. gosh
 

apart of missing my sec school friends, i never even thought if missing my primary school friends. until what i saw and a feeling came naturally to me. i guess i kinda miss them too. i mean bee with them for like more than 4 years. i mean c'mon.

there are certain people that i used to love.

aniza- shes a great person, i actually still remember when i was in primary 4 and we'd still know nuts bout each other till in mid-term. i remember her catching me for tucking out my shirt. was still a dumb dumb but i got to know her well, and also be a prefect myslef. catching all these lame people. fighting over small stuff which haa haa, i think its kinda stupid.

mai- a leader with good potential. shes almost like a sister, who likes to lead. we never actually talked much but we do see each other during meetings and all. and well, shes a great person i must say. too great.

anna- this one kinda difficult to explain. hmm, we've been contacting till now. i remember the time she had bf problems. and the way we used to fight. kinda childish.

nana- my ever good buddy. we used to hang out. slept in the same hotel during an excursion to cam highlands. the one who is a lways frek-fan of christina aguilera. haa ha ahaa, i missed her though. wonder where she is now.

fatin- shes changed. damn lots, maybe not remembering me. is that a bad thing?shes busy with her stuff i guess, well, different people leads different lives. i'll just have to live with it..

most of the memoir i had are all super great and i'm thankful for my primary school friends.

i'll pray that you'll guys be safe. i love you all
 

well, i think i should just say it out as i think because of this i feel insecure, and because of this, im more sensitive and because of this, i hid things from my loved ones. sorry sayang. girls should have the feel of being secure and safe, and no matter where she go, her dignity will always be high.

there are somethings that guys cant understand about girls. some guys may thing that what they did is just a friendly way to start a new friendship but on the other hand, it just makes the girl feel uncomfortable in a way. i hope you guys know what i mean.

i'm not try to point fingers. i may be wrong, i may be the one who misunderstand, but there are others around us who can see what is going on. being a friend doesnt mean intimacy has to be shown or even appear. i may not have said anything cause, i dont wanna embaress anyone or anything, i just dont want it to happen ever again. what is right for you may never be right for anyone. maybe its time to play rough and not give in too much.

as sensitive as i can be, i will stay on that way cause i know, the past will haunt me...- real bad-...
 

came extremely late on friday. went to meet boon hock at the interchange and flew off to school together. we always meet before heading off to school. so sweet eh, haa haa haa. project was like due on that day so i had to rush to my locker to get the transmitter and reciever project. as expected, i couldnt find my partner, sayang, where are you again? and so i just testes mine which was the receiver. it needs a machine to operate and to see that it's working, a constant sound has to be produced. with a lot of time modifying and testing, finally, the sound came. but it wasnt loud. still not good enough. as i had spent my time on that shit, i just handed it in.

went to tamp and we took cab from school which cost us 4 bucks. as there are for of us. each forked out 1 buck. so fair share. then all the while, we were hanging out, slaking together and by the time, i realised that i had to meet a friend in like an hour, so we took a cab to seng kang as i had to take some stuff and take the train to bugis to meet shima. the one who was suddenly gone and suddenly reappeared.

i wasn't feeling well, like my friends tell me i look very sickly everyday, which i am. no idea why. feeling so breathless everyday after eating some-you know-. anywaes, i still went out, wasnt in any mood to eat anything and was feeling all suckish and sickly. wwent to bugis, had lunch, walk at haji lane, and walk all the way to city hall. i should have told her i'm dead sick. and all the way home. my heart felt that it didn't recieve enough oxygen. it's not that i never eat properly i do.

shima's changed and it really creeps me out, it really does.

im more sensitive now, after what happened in school-my ite friends, you guys should know why-i just feel uncomfortable with-gosh- can't say. i'm not gonna say things that will hurt anyone. i'm just to sensitive now that's all.
 

hey guys, i hope you help me find my friend. if you ARE one of them please give me a call soon. shes a friend that i never regeret knowing. a friend, who always help me when i'm in trouble, a friend who always be there for me when i need her.

lately, i couldn't seem to contact her in whatsoever ways. so anyone out there who sees her or know her, please give me a call.

ever since she started school, shes been gone missing and i'm sure that i'm not the only one looking for her. i'm sure there are many others.

to SHIMA : my dear, where are you? hope you're doing great. hope you don't forget your old friends when new ones come by. and don't forget to remember me my sis. XD. call me soon aite.
 

i just don't know what this feeling inside of me. the love that i thought had vanish still stays, and i thnk that i'm falling back in love. or am i just feeling so foolish? -sigh. who can i open up to? i guess, time will tell.

am i in love? am i ready to open up again? - sigh
 

ITE FRIENDS


 

HEY Y'ALL, I'M MAKING NEW MOVIE SLIDESHOWS FOR MY FRIENDS AND MAYBE MORE ON MY LIFE. DO CHECK IT OUT. WILL BE POSTING IT SOON.!!